


Orange Is a Terrible Color

by lanalucy



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Break Up, Cross-Posted on LiveJournal, F/M, Motorcycles, Nudity, Relationship Negotiation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-06
Updated: 2014-01-06
Packaged: 2018-01-07 17:10:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1122384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanalucy/pseuds/lanalucy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zak invites his brother to lunch, and his whole life changes.</p>
<p>Many thanks to newnumbertwo for the beta.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Orange Is a Terrible Color

Lee leaned forward as the waitress left the table, “So?  What did you ask me here for?”

“To get your opinion on something.”

“Orange is a terrible color on you.”

“Frak off, Lee.  No.  I’m…” Zak looked away, then back at Lee.  “I’m thinking about asking Kara to marry me.”

“Oh.”

“Wow.  Such excitement.”

“I love Kara, Zak.”

“I know.  I’m so glad the two of you get along so well.”

It was Lee’s turn to look away and look back.  He sat back in his seat, playing with the condensation on his glass.  “No, Zak.  I mean, I love her.  I’m in love with her.”

Zak leaned back, his face a puzzle.  Then, “Does she know?”

Lee nodded.  “She can’t possibly not know.”

“She’s never said anything.  Hells, Lee, you’ve never said anything.”

“I wouldn’t ever have.  But…”

“But what?”

“I need you to understand now.  If you ask her, if she says yes, I can’t stand up with you.  You can’t ask me to stand there at the temple with you and watch the woman I love marry someone else.”  He took a long drink from his glass, swallowing several times.  “I won’t stop you.  I won’t ever say anything to her.  But I can’t watch it happen.”

Zak just sat there, staring at Lee as if he’d grown an extra head.  After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, he asked, “How long have you felt this way?”

Lee shook his head, his mouth turned down in a frown.  “Since the night I met her.  She’s so…”

Zak nodded, smiling wryly.  “Yeah.  She is.  What are you going to do about it?”

Lee looked up.  “Do?  Zak, I’m not going to _do_ anything.  I told you, I’m not going to say anything, not going to stop you marrying her.  I want her to be happy, and if that’s with you, that’s what I want for her.”  He sighed heavily.  “I’ll probably put in for some extended tours on battlestars, or get into Fleet Law School, so I don’t have to be here.”

“What if she’d be happier with you?”

Panic swept across Lee’s face.  “Zak, no.  You can’t...that’s not why I told you.  No.”

“You said she knows how you feel.  She loves me, I know she does, but what if she’s with me because I’ve gone after her and you haven’t?”

“No,” Lee repeated stubbornly.  “I’m not going to hurt you that way.”

“Lee.  You think it doesn’t hurt to know that you’ve been in love with my girl for six months and I’m just now finding out?  To know that she knows you’re in love with her and she’s never told me, either?  To know that if I marry her, my brother won’t be there because he wants what I have, and maybe she wants it, too and is just afraid to hurt me?”  He smacked the table.  “Gods!  Why hasn’t she ever said anything?”

“What is she supposed to say, Zak?  It’s okay.  My tour is almost up.  I’m due to go back out on the Atlantia for a year, and I may put in for something more permanent.  I won’t be here to get in the way.”

“I can’t ask her without knowing how she feels about you.  You can’t really expect me to.”

“That’s exactly what I expect, Zak!  Ask Kara to marry you.  She loves you, so be happy with her.”

The waitress walked up with their orders, and they both dug in, purposely keeping their mouths full so they couldn’t talk.  When they finished eating, they stacked their plates and shifted nervously.  Finally, Zak shook his head and said, “This is not the lunch with my brother I was expecting.”

“Sorry.”

A little bit of anger slipped out.  “You know, Lee, you should be.  If you fell for her the night you met her, the night I passed out on the couch drunk, you should have said something then, told me how you felt.”

“It was a complete surprise to me.  How was I supposed to know that I’d still feel this way six months later, Zak?  How would it have helped for you to know then?”

“I wasn’t that serious about her then.  If I’d known, maybe I could have, I don’t know, talked to her.  Let the two of you date or something.”

“Too late for that now.”

“It doesn’t have to be too late.  That’s my whole point, Lee!  Gods.  I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you have to talk to Kara and tell her how you feel.  Let her decide.  If she chooses me, or she chooses you, then we’ll both know for sure.  If she tells both of us to take a hike, well, I guess we’ll still know for sure.”

“No, Zak.  I won’t do it.”

Zak’s mouth tightened into a thin line.  “If you don’t, I will.  I have to know how she feels.  I can’t marry her and always in the back of my mind wonder if she loves me the way I love her, or if she’s thinking about my brother.”

===

Zak was deliberately casual.  “Saw Lee for lunch today.”

“Yeah?  How is he?  He hasn’t been by in almost a month.”

“He said he’s been staying away on purpose.”  Zak leaned against the door jamb and watched her carefully.

She barely turned her head over the shoulder.  “Oh?  Has he gotten a girlfriend or something?”

“No.  He’s been staying away because of you.”  

She froze, then started washing dishes again.  “Because of me?  Did I do something to offend him?  He should have said something.”

Without the lunch conversation in his head, he probably would have taken that at face value, but he couldn’t.  “Kara.  Stop.  Look at me.”

“I’ve got to get these dishes done, Zak.”

He walked over and put his hands on her arms, then slid his hands down to loosen hers from the plate.  “Turn around, Kara.”  He watched her hunch her shoulders up, then turn to face him.  

“What did I do, Zak?”

“It’s not something you did, exactly.”  He watched her face, but it betrayed nothing.  “He says you know why he hasn’t been coming by.”  

She shrugged her shoulder and said, “Why would I know what’s going on with him?  It’s not like we talk to each other when you’re not around.”  She didn’t quite meet his eyes.

He stepped back, his hands falling to grip hers lightly.  “Kara, how did things go between you and Lee the night you met?”  He watched color rise in her cheeks. _Lee didn’t tell me anything happened, just that he’d fallen for her.  All the more reason to get this figured out._  “Did you get along okay once I passed out?”

She grinned crookedly up at him.  “We drank a lot more.  Finished off the rest of the wine, went on to shots of ambrosia.  We were both drunk, so yeah, we got along fine.”

“I never could hold my liquor as well as Lee could.  Something the two of you have in common.”

She laughed.  “You are quite a lightweight for your size, Zak Adama.”

_Oh, frak this talking around it!_  “Do you love Lee, Kara?”

“Of course, Zak.  He’s your brother.”

“That’s not what I’m asking.  He’s in love with you.  Are you in love with him?”

Kara stood there, mouth hanging open, unable to answer, which was something of an answer in itself.

He pulled her into his chest, put his arms around her.  “This would have been a lot easier if the two of you had said something six months ago.”

===

Zak sat on the coffee table, looking at them both.  He almost laughed: Kara and Lee were at opposite ends of the couch, pointedly not looking at each other.  He just shook his head.  “You both know how ridiculous this is, right?  That I’m mediating between my girlfriend and my brother.”  Kara gave him a wounded look, her nails digging into her thighs.  Zak blew out a breath.  “Okay.  So.  You guys met that night when I invited Lee to dinner.  We all drank.  I passed out.  You guys kept drinking.  Something happened.”  Both Kara and Lee opened their mouths, and he held his hands up.  “Nope.  I don’t want to hear it.  The point is not that something happened, but that you were both wasted when it did.  I’m betting you never tried it sober.  And since you didn’t, you don’t know if whatever happened was real, or if it was the alcohol talking.”  

Kara looked at Lee out of the corner of her eye, and Lee sat there looking at his lap.  Everybody sat for a couple more minutes before Zak spoke up again.  “Since you obviously didn’t get my drift before, you’re going to try it again sober, and it’s either going to suck and you’ll know it was just the alcohol, or it’s going to be great, and we’ll have to figure out how to handle it.”

They kept not looking at each other and Zak got frustrated.  “Look, if you’re worried about me getting angry, it’s too frakkin’ late.  I’m already mad that neither of you bothered to talk to me about this.  Now get busy.  Or can you not perform with me in the room?”  That got him a dirty look from both of them.

Lee held out a hand to Kara.  “Come on, Kara.  We might as well get it over with.  He’s not going to quit until we do.”

Kara sat, pretending not to see Lee’s hand for nearly a full minute, then reached out to him.  “This is stupid, Zak.”

“Noted.”  He watched as Kara scooted across the couch to Lee, and Lee pulled her in against his hip.  

Lee leaned forward, giving Zak a dirty look, then twisted toward Kara.  Lee took Kara’s hand, rubbing his thumb over the back of it, then put it on his thigh and put his hand on her jaw.  He was so careful, taking his time about everything, and Zak was bursting with impatience.  He wanted to reach over and knock their mouths together to get it over with.  

Lee leaned further toward Kara and Kara started leaning toward Lee.  For Zak, it was like everything was happening in slow motion.  They inched toward each other and then Lee paused.  He was looking at Kara and she was looking back at him, and it was totally as if Lee was asking her something and she was answering, but that sounded crazy, even in his head.

Finally, their lips touched, and almost immediately Lee backed off again, looking at Zak out of the corner of his eye.  

Zak asked, “That’s not how you kissed each other that night, is it?”

He heard Kara’s quiet “Frak,” right before she grabbed at Lee’s shirt and leaned in to kiss him again.  This time, he could see when Lee opened his mouth a little, when their heads tilted just so, when their tongues touched, when they forgot he was in the room.

_Guess it doesn’t suck._  He wasn’t sure how to feel about this, but it was what he’d asked them to do.   _Now what?_  He almost stopped them when Lee put his hands under Kara and moved her to his lap while still kissing her.  Lee’s left hand sat on Kara’s right thigh for half a minute, then slowly moved up her side.  Kara’s hand was still bunched around Lee’s shirt.  And they were still kissing.

He watched for a couple more minutes, then cleared his throat and said, “Guess you really hate kissing each other.”  Kara froze on Lee’s lap then looked down.  Lee stroked her hair and pulled her head into his shoulder.  

“What are we going to do about this?”

Kara scrambled off Lee’s lap and moved back to the other end of the couch.  “Do?  What do you mean, Zak?”

“I mean, Kara, that Lee is in love with you.  You obviously feel something for him.  Whatever happened after I passed out that night wasn’t just because you were both drunk.  So, what do we do about it?”

Neither one of them said anything, so again, Zak took the lead.  “Lee said he doesn’t want to come between us, that he’d put in for a permanent duty station off-planet.”

“What?  No.”  She looked up at Zak.  “You’re not going to lose your brother because of me.”  She turned to Lee.  “You can’t leave because of me.”

“I can’t stay if you’re going to marry him.”

“Ma...married?”  She looked stunned.  “We’re not….what is he talking about, Zak?”

“That’s actually what started this whole thing, Kara.  I went to lunch with Lee last weekend to show him the ring, tell him I wanted to marry you.  That’s how I found out he loved you.”

“But you...you’ve never even said you loved me.  Married?  No.  I’m not…”  She squirmed on the couch.  “Zak, I was happy with things the way they were.  We have fun together.  Great sex.  Why do you want...I don’t want to get married.  Have kids.”

Zak watched her get more and more uncomfortable, until she popped off the couch and paced for a minute.  “Can’t we just have things the way they were?  That was good.  Wasn’t it?”

Zak didn’t know what to think, what to say.  It had been good, but he wanted more now.  And knowing that she had feelings for Lee made him look at everything differently.  So he couldn’t go back and he couldn’t go forward.   _What the hell am I supposed to say?_  He looked at Lee, hoping for some inspiration, but Lee was looking at Kara.  The expression on his face made it clear to Zak that whatever Lee was feeling?  It wasn’t just “Kara’s hot and I want to frak her.”  He really did love her.   _Frak!  What a mess!_

He’d been silent so long that Kara asked, “Zak?  Was it not good for you?”

He shook his head and she froze.   _Frak!_  “I don’t know what to do here.  I want more.  You don’t.  Even if you don’t love Lee, you feel something for him, and he clearly loves you.  I can’t go back to just being a great frak, Kara.”

Kara murmured, “Momma said I was a cancer.  I’ve ruined everything.”  

Zak wasn’t sure he’d heard right.   _Her mother had said what?  His mother had been a drunk, and she’d said some mean things, but to tell your own kid that she was a cancer?  No good for anyone?_  There was no way he could have known the mess he would create by inviting his brother to lunch.

He looked at Lee helplessly.  “I don’t know what to do here, Lee.  What to say.”

“Do you love her?”

“Of course I do, Lee.  Why do you think I want to marry her?”

“Guys, I’m still right here in the room.  Zak, it doesn’t matter if you love me or not.  You want to get married, maybe have kids when you’re done with Flight School.  I don’t want any of that.  Not now.  Not ever.  If you can’t go back to just being my boyfriend, my frakbuddy, I can’t be with you.  I’m either enough for you the way I am or I’m not.”

“So where does that leave us?”

“You’re the only one who can decide that.”  She turned to Lee.  “Gods, you’d be a great frak, and I’d love to ride you into the ground.  And if I’d met you before I met Zak, things might be different now.  But you two are all the family you have.  I’m not going to be the thing that breaks that.  So both of you need to fall out of love with me, and move on.”  She turned on her heel and went to her bedroom.  

Zak stared after her, then looked at Lee.  “What the frak was that?  How’d I go from wanting to marry her to ‘fall out of love with me and move on’?”

“I can’t help but wonder how differently this might have gone if I’d just kept my mouth shut about my feelings.”

Zak snorted.  “It could have been a lot worse.  I could have asked her to marry me at that restaurant on the Strand.  That no would have sucked a whole lot more there.”

“Do you love her enough to pretend like you don’t and just be her boyfriend until she gets tired of you and kicks you to the curb?”

“I’d give up having kids for her.  But -”

At that moment, Kara came out of the bedroom, dressed to leave.

“Where are you going?”

“Out.  Figure it out before I come home, Zak.”  She ran up the stairs and slammed the door behind her.

===

Kara rode her motorcycle until she found a temple on the outskirts of town.  She put down the kickstand and went inside to pray.  It had been hard to stay cold long enough to say those things to Zak, but she would never be that girl.  She’d never be the one he could take home to his mom or dad.  She wasn’t good for him, and she should have ended it sooner.  But she’d been having fun and hadn’t wanted to see what was right in front of her eyes.  Well, it was over now.  She doubted he’d be there when she got home.

She sat in the temple, head bowed, for hours, until the priest told her it was time to close the temple for the night.  She rode home, stashing her bike and letting herself into the dark apartment.  She didn’t even turn the light on before she went to the bedroom, stripping and tossing clothes every which way.  She turned on the living room lamp as she walked naked through the apartment to the kitchen, and jumped when she saw movement in her peripheral vision.

“Lee.  Where’s Zak?”  He shook his head.  “What are you still doing here?”

He stood up and walked over to her.  “You can’t scare me away.”

“I just got rid of one boyfriend.  I don’t need another one.”

“Not a boyfriend.  Friend?  Yeah.  You wanna frak me into the ground every night and pretend like you don’t care about anything or anybody?  I can do that.”

“What’s your brother going to think?”

“Don’t care.  He made his choice.  I’m making mine.”

Kara looked at Lee.  “I’m getting a beer.  If you really want to do this, be naked in my bed when I get back.”


End file.
